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We’ve updated our Terms of Use. You can review the changes here.

If Only

by Lilac Queen

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1.
Wasting Time 03:01
don't be such a waste of my time i think i'm dying on the inside don't be such a waste of my time i think i'm dying on the inside reaching out to you i don't know who you are tell me why i always do this to myself don't be such a waste of my time i think i'm dying on the inside don't be such a waste of my time i think i'm dying on the inside like a cold dead wall, i don't know you at all i was looking out for you while you were pretending to sleep it would've been nice, but there was dripping from the kitchen sink doesn't make a difference, you should've been my friend
2.
i shouldn't have to beg you to love me in my darkest times the puppet strings you're pulling left me with a captive mind i thought you were an angel and i thought i could try to maybe get to heaven if i stuck by your side what if i had stayed this time? if i didn't run away this time? would you remember my name this time? I shouldn't have to beg for you to love me just tell me that you don't maybe i'll finally get a grip and let go of your ghost I shouldn't have to beg for you to love me just tell me that you don't maybe i'll finally get a grip and let go of your ghost you ignored every word i spoke you were the one who said with every mistake you'd make, they would never happen again i couldn't force you to change since your mind was set there was no such thing as progress this is how it had to end i won't choke on your misery i won't swallow my words i won't choke on your misery anymore I shouldn't have to beg for you to love me just tell me that you don't maybe i'll finally get a grip and let go of your ghost I shouldn't have to beg for you to love me just tell me that you don't maybe i'll finally get a grip and let go of your ghost I shouldn't have to beg for you to love me just tell me that you don't maybe i'll finally get a grip and let go of your ghost
3.
Ouch 03:29
heaven only knows when you haunt me buried in the backyard without my teeth thank you for all the bullshit that i didn't need i wonder what it feels like without me you keep saying those things that i'm not used to, i'm not used to you keep saying those things that i'm not used to, i'm not used to heaven only knows when you lost me it's dark and it's could and i feel so lonely tearing out my insides every time you speak i wonder what it feels like without me you keep saying those things that i'm not used to, i'm not used to you keep saying those things that i'm not used to, i'm not used to again, again get away from me please get away form me please please
4.
Tar 03:17
why are you running away? why can't you stay? why are you running away? why can't you stay? why are you running away? why can't you stay? used all my attention on every detail you ever read i sat vacantly writing between all of the lines words fall away like every thread in my spine i'm haunted by the pipe dreams that put you to sleep it always feels like you're leaving it always feels like you're gone it always feels like you're leaving it always feels like you're gone why are you running away? why can't you stay? why are you running away? why can't you stay? why are you running away? why can't you stay? pallets found in our mess dried from all the things below a canvas untouched will swallow me and the nightmares consist of all the ways that you'll leave well you cradled my thoughts, they were yours to keep it always feels like you're leaving it always feels like you're gone it always feels like you're leaving it always feels like you're gone why are you running away? why can't you stay? why are you running away? why can't you stay? why are you running away? why can't you stay? why are you running away? why can't you stay? it always feels like you're leaving it always feels like you're gone it always feels like you're leaving it always feels like you're gone
5.
Lorna II 02:24
well are you okay? am i bothering you again? things could be different now if only you would speak to me well are you okay? am i bothering you again? things could be different now if only you would speak to me well are you okay? am i bothering you again? things could be different now if only you would speak to me again well are you okay? am i bothering you again? things could be different now if only you would speak to me again

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released April 10, 2020

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Lilac Queen Massachusetts

Massachusetts Shoegaze. I won’t choke on your misery anymore.

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